Scared

It's an inarguable fact that I am a huge chicken. I'm a scary moving hating, night-light needing, bug-eschewing scaredy-cat.

Corey thinks I'm just a worry wart, but I'm afraid that it goes much beyond that and borders on OCD. Right now I am worried about the scorpion that's caught in the air duct above the master bathroom. Sounds like a logical thing to be afraid of right? But, I'm also worried about the AIDS epidemic, and the economy, and raising intelligent chidren, and the health care industry. I worry about the funny noise my car made on the drive home last week, and I worry about my dad's torn shoulder, and my job.

I'm constantly striving to be a better person and to make a bigger impact on the world around me, but I struggle because I don't know where to start or what I can do. I would love to feed starving children, and adopt AIDS orphans, and balance the national budget. So, where does one start?

I've always seen myself as a future mother, but now I'm afraid of the world that I'm planning to bring children into. The economy, the energy crisis, the world food shortage...is it even fair to bring children into the world with all of these catastrophies around us? Will I have the control to raise balanced, intelligent and kind children or will the world take that control out of my hands and pervert my children to its whims? When I was a child I don't remember dealing with poisoned Halloween candy, or Amber Alerts, or sex offender signs in the neighborhood. Can I protect my children the way I think they deserve to be protected? And will I pass my worries onto them?

I know I can't save the world alone, but I also know that the decisions I make have an effect on the people and world around me and I'm afraid of making the wrong ones. Am I alone in this? Sometimes I feel that everyone around me is careless and worry-free while I'm secretly petrified in silence.

8.1 Gs

Wednesday the boy got to go on the ride of a lifetime. As a reward for his NCO of the Quarter award he got to take an incentive ride on an F-16 with a top pilot from Luke. Half of me was absolutely petrified that he would crash and die, and 100% of me was insanely jealous because I'm supposed to be the one in the family doing the daredevil stuff.

But, he lived (and I am still jealous) and had a great time. He didn't even puke, or pass out, which are very common afflictions when cruising at 7+ Gs. They did a max climb take-off which you would have to see to believe, as it involves the jet taking off and climbing at 90 degrees - completely vertical! He even got to fly the jet himself and went sonic (broke the sound barrier).



Apparently they used to give spouses incentive flights but the expense and danger made them discontinue it. So, I told the pilot that I was going to run for public office and come back.

Bailout Bill

I've been interested in politics for as long as I can remember. From student council in school to a poli sci major (for part of college at least) I found it intriguing and compelling. It goes without saying that lately, it has been even more interesting than usual.

Today the House of Representatives passed the Bailout Bill which will allocate $700B of federal money to take bad loans out of the hands of individual banks. This will free up those banks to make credit available again, since it has been virtually frozen for the last few months.

Last week, when the House defeated the bill by a small margin, stocks tanked. People were concerned about their money, and concerned that if they left it where it was it would be worth even less when they came back for it later.

Now, today, the bill gets passed and what happens? Stocks fall. I was thoroughly confused. So, I logged on to my favorite websites to see what the analysts were saying. And what I read made me sick.

There are a whole lot of Americans that are too self-righteous and bitter and arrogant to see past their own situations. There are people everywhere complaining about the bill passing because they didn't cause this problem so why should they (in the form of tax money investments) have to pay it to bail out those that weren't as smart?

Well, let me tell you why. Because we are living in a democracy. Politicians were put in place to do what is right for the people. People being plural. Not for you, or me, or your neighbor Joe. Now granted, there are some very crooked politicians who are also only out for personal gain, however the fundamental ideas that this country was built upon are equality and strength in numbers and defending the rights of the people.

People who have homes that are being foreclosed on are not going to be sent a check from the government. They are not going to pay off my Visa bill because I charged some Louboutin boots last month. This bill is not going to buy groceries for people who took out loans they can't afford. What the bill is going to do is buy bad loans from your bank so that when you want a new car or a new house or a student loan - you can get it.

We may not have all contributed to the recession - Corey and I do not have a defaulting mortgage, but I have noticed about a dozen 'bank owned' for sale signs in my neighborhood. So, because I didn't contribute it's better to sit back and let the country fall into a depression?

We ALL lose in a depression. From fast food workers to CEOs. The unemployment line all leads to the same place no matter who you are. So, in protecting your bank's assets, you're also protecting your own. The problem is everyone who is secretly sitting at the dinner table and saying, "Well, they got what they deserved taking out more loan than they could afford."

Let me ask you this: What do you get out of your neighbor going bankrupt? Does it help you in some way? When we get to a place where we are wanting other people to fail then we need to evaluate what's going on inside our own minds and hearts and not what's going on in our neighbor's wallet.

Catching up

I've been MIA lately and although I'd like to give some great reason like, "My fiance swept me off to a surprise vacation in Bora Bora" it's more like we've been busy with life.



I made some of the 'best cupcakes in the world' as a late birthday celebration for the boy since he can't get enough of them. Every time I bake a batch I think he's going to take them all to work and get them out of the house, but he rationalizes that he needs to keep at least a dozen for himself. Thank goodness the gall bladder problem is over.



A few days after that the boy left this amazingly beautiful bouquet of Oriental lilies for me, and I knew when I looked at them that I want to do my wedding bouquet in lilies instead of tulips. I'm not a big fan of roses and knew that I didn't want a traditional bridal bouquet so this will be absolutely perfect.

Speaking of wedding stuff, the boy ordered my ring! We've been talking about it for ages and trying to decide what I want. I will admit that I'm a little particular so I might not have made it incredibly easy for him, but he had some meetings with the jewelers about designing what he wants and it's in the works. I don't know exactly what it looks like (and the suspense is killing me) but I know it will be beautiful!

The only other thing we've been spending time on lately is paying more attention to our budget. We finally sat down and looked at what we've spent money on this year and it made us sick. So, we decided the easiest way to save a little would be to cut waaaay back on our food budget. There are families of 20 spending less on food than we do in a month!

We started actually watching sales and doing things like using coupons and now it's pretty much a game to us. Did you know you never ever have to spend money on things like shampoo, toothpaste, razors, or body wash? Sounds crazy but it's true.

Here's what CVS paid me $3 to take yesterday.



Seriously, they paid me for razors! We usually buy razor cartridges at Costco for $50 and they last a couple months. We already have 8 razors that we got for free in the last week!

There were also coupons in this week's paper for a $25 gift card to CVS when you transfer a prescription there from another pharmacy. Well, Walgreens is closest to our house so I've always had my drugs filled there. But, for $25 I can drive the extra 1/10th of a mile to pay the same co-pay there. And because I'm so lucky and have a million prescriptions, it will be a very long time before I ever have to pay CVS cash for anything again!!

The scalpel and the stone

I know you'll all be disappointed, but there are no pictures of the infamous gall stone. The hospital had to send it off to pathology so we didn't get to take it home in my purse and therefore, we didn't win the gall stone size prize (whatever that may be).

The boy did survive, and after a very very long 45 minutes the surgeon said that everything went fine and he was already done. I had to wait another twenty to go back and see him because apparently he was flirting* and trying to talk his post-op nurse into getting him a beer. As far as I'm aware he didn't get a Bud Light or a phone number so I think he's forgiven, but it's still funny to watch people all hopped up on Demerol.

He's still very sore, but there's good news: The Air Force is much more lenient than the civilian world and he has another two weeks to recover. I foresee many long days of Legend of Zelda and Super Mario Bros 2 in his future (we just got an original Nintendo).

So, we spent the past four days lounging around, watching movies and planning shopping trips. I've become very adept at this CVSing thing and the boy has even joined in. Between the two of us we've got more Robitussin and Arnicare than we could use in a million years. But here is another very cool aspect of smart shopping: we found a great battered women's shelter in the area that's in need of many of the personal care items that we've been getting for free. So, we're starting a box and every time we get something for free or very cheap that we don't need we're tossing it in there. When we get a full box, we'll head down to the shelter.

I've been checking out a lot of blogs lately by women that do a lot of CVSing and couponing to get a ton of items free. One woman just had a yard sale to sell all of her shampoo/conditioner/toothpaste/razor stockpiles and made well over $1,000. I'm not trying to sound like a bitch here, but that made me sick. She got this stuff for FREE. No exaggeration - FREE. Yet, instead of helping many many people who don't have the luxury of toothbrushes or diapers when they flee abusive relationships in the middle of the night, she profited $1,000 from her free goods.

Another thing that I love so much about Corey is that he has such a giving heart. It would never occur to him to do something like sell the free toothpaste we got for profit. We're always thinking of who might need it, and who would think of a new tube of lipstick as a wonderful luxury. It means so much to me that the person I'm with is always inspiring me to be a better person and think of what else I can do to help people that aren't as fortunate.

I love him so much I might even take him my phone number and a Bud Light tonight.

*EDIT: The boy didn't like it so much that I said he was flirting. I will say that the nurses told me the first words out of his mouth when he woke up were to see me, and when I walked around the corner he got a goofy (high) smile on his face and yelled, "There's the love of my life." So, I guess he wasn't really in the doghouse for flirting.

Co-lee-sist-ect-omy

Well, the time has finally come for the boy to get hacked on for once. I'm stomping him in the race to have more medical procedures done, so tomorrow we'll go in and have his silly broken little gall bladder removed.

Truth be told, I'm petrified. The surgeon is wonderful, and I'm sure he's quite capable given his track record. But sitting there in the waiting room is going to be the longest hour of my life! I'm not sure what kind of ipod list you make for these kind of situations, but I'm thinking I need to upload some songs from happy Disney movies.

His doctor sent us home from the pre-op with a very cool website that answers almost any question you may have and walks you thru a procedure. I thought we were actually going to see a video of the surgery, so when we got done with it and hadn't seen blood and gore I figured it was a good idea to google it. Of course youtube obliged and I proceeded to watch an hour or so of gall bladder removals. Emotions ranged from nausea to unbridled fear to thoughts of making a run for Mexico and not going to the hospital. But, unfortunately, I know it's for the best since he hasn't been able to eat or sleep in weeks.

Since my dad and Corey are in a contest over who could grow the bigger gall stone I'm going to have to carry the thing out of the hospital in my purse! I'm not sure what the winner receives, but I know that I better get a new purse out of the deal.

If you could keep the boy in your thoughts we'd appreciate it! I'll make sure to post pictures of the stone when we get out.

Coupons and CVSing

I think this is a fairly common thing when it comes to blogs, but sometimes I'll click from someone's blog to someone else's and so-on and so-forth until I'm at a complete stranger's blog and have no idea how I got there.

This happened to me last week and I came upon a woman's blog who does something called 'CVSing'. We have a CVS near our house (a few actually) but I've always gotten my prescriptions from Walgreens so I had no reason to set foot in it. Well, it appears I've been missing out on a lot.

I should preface this all by saying that although Corey and I both make what we think are pretty good salaries, we always wonder where our money goes. $100 trips to Target, and $300 trips to the mall, and groceries always add up, and we don't end up saving as much as we'd like to.

I should also say that some people refer to me as a bit of a snob, and although I act offended when I hear it, deep down I know it's probably true. I would never think to use coupons or search for a deal because I never wanted the cashier or other people in the store to judge me. "Oh, look at that poor girl who can't afford her groceries," I hear them saying in my head. Sad, I know. But true.

But, this woman had piles and piles of purchases on her table and beneath it all she said that her total out-of-pocket cost was $0.85!!!! 85 cents for a table full of stuff! I was intrigued.

So, I did a little research and found that there are tons and tons of people who, with a little planning and research, save mounds of money at CVS. Yes, you have to use coupons, and yes you have to search for deals. But, it looked like it was worth it to me. So, I gave it a try.

Here's how I did:

5 tubes of Colgate Total toothpaste - $3.49 each
5 tubes of Arnicare pain relief gel(basically homeopathic Icy-Hot) - $9.49 each
4 Covergirl outlast lipsticks - $9.99 each
1 Covergirl lipgloss - $5.99
4 bottles of Dawn dishwashing detergent - $2.79 each
2 3-packs of paper towels - $1.99 each
2 nail glues - $1.99 each
2 bottles of water - $1.39 each
1 Accu-check blood sugar monitor - $75 BUCKS!!!
King size Reeses peanut butter cups (I had to buy it because my coupons went over, and the boy loves them anyway) - $1.00
1 Fiber One bar - $0.69
1 bottle of Dr. Pepper - $1.39

Total of $210.83

I got it all for $18.71. BUT, I also got $23 back in ExtraCare Bucks (basically CVS gift certificates for future visits). So essentially, they paid me $4 to buy all that stuff!!

I did have to use coupons, and it was very hard for me - but I survived and ended up saving a ton of money in the process. The best part of it is that Corey's mom's best friend has diabetes (no one we know here does) and she can't really afford the $75 monitor for herself. So, we're sending it to her. I'm so happy to be able to give it to someone who needs it - and we got it for free!!!

So, we're going to keep trying the CVSing and see what kind of deals we can get. We're also going to - gasp - cut out coupons for our groceries. Yes, the snob in me hates typing that. But, when we have more money in our savings account for vacations and other big purchases, I think it will be worth it.