The Tortoise and the Hare

On paper, the boy and I don't work at all. Whenever we see those annoying eharmony commercials I laugh because I know a computer never would have matched us in a million years. He's a simple country boy, and I'm a high maintenance city girl. He likes the stability and organization of the Air Force, and I like the fast paced business world. And while he's content to take it easy and let things happen, I'm always rushing to see what's around the next corner and get there faster.

The past few months have been hard on me. Health-wise I find myself jealous of people who get up every day and aren't in pain. Some days it takes everything I have just to haul myself out of bed. I've become so focused on how bad I feel that I've forgotten to be thankful for what I do have. My last surgeon told me that everything is fine with my 'girl parts', so hopefully having children won't be a problem. When I was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago I thought children would be out of the question. I also have doctors who are searching for what's wrong with me and ultimately trying to help me. And I have insurance that covers almost all of it. These are luxuries that not everyone has.

But still, I want to rush. I can't wait to get married, to have kids, and to feel settled already. Somehow, I think that there will be this magical finish line and once I cross it I can be content. I see my friends with their families and I get so impatient; so restless. People I graduated high school with have five kids, and we haven't even started yet. How did we get so far behind?

So my daily struggle now is to look at Corey and take his strength and just SLOW DOWN. To appreciate the scenery, and be thankful for every blessing I've been given. To try and surrender to the fact that life isn't a race because the finish line is in a different place for everyone. And to realize that even though I'm on the gas and he's on the brakes, at least we'll get where we're going together.