I used to believe in karma. I thought that when you were a good person who made good choices and affected the world in a positive way you would be repaid in kind. Maybe not tit for tat, but certainly that the world or universe or higher power would see your good deeds and pave your way a little.
My mom taught me the golden rule and I bought into the theory. Treat others as you'd want to be treated. Sounds fair, right? If you are nice to people, they will be nice to you back.
But wait, that's not the moral of the story at all, is it? The rule of karma doesn't talk about the payout, we just interject that of our own accord because we think that's what is fair and just.
Unfortunately, the world is not fair and just at all. The world is full of givers and takers at a ratio of 1:10. Takers rarely see their ways from outside themselves and become givers, and givers rarely sell their personal integrity to become takers. So, are we destined upon birth to become one or the other, and sentenced to a life within that role? Because I was brought up to believe that I am blessed and I should help those around me that are less fortunate, does that mean that they are fated to have things I cannot?
I know this all sounds very bitter, and truthfully I feel bitter about it on many occasions. I feel bitter when I see people take advantage of programs that were not designed to help them simply because they feel they deserve material things more than others. I feel bitter when I see the local adoption agencies struggle for funds because they have more unwanted and uncared for children than they can take care of. I feel bitter when I donate extra money to the electric company to help those who can't pay their bills only to hear that the people who can't pay their bills are in that predicament because their air conditioner is set at 65 degrees or their jacuzzi heater is on high.
The problem is that there are also those that are truly in need. There are mothers who cannot feed their children, not because they pay too much for cigarettes and booze, but because they were laid off or left an abusive relationship. There are veterans who are disabled and homeless, who hold signs at freeway entrances hoping to earn a few coins and purchase another gallon of water. There are dogs, ribs sticking through their skin, left chained in backyards to die in the heat because their owners left them when they moved.
They deserve to be takers. And the people that are giving deserve to be able to gift things knowing that they will make it to the hands of these who are truly needy.
The price of my personal integrity is high as of late and as much as I'd like to cut and run at times I fear that I'm a lost cause at this point. We could stop all of our contributions and live an easier life, but would I be able to lay my head down on my pillow and not see the faces of those I could have helped haunting me?
The food at restaurants doesn't taste as good when you know that there are those going hungry in your neighborhood, and a new pair of shoes puts you in excruciating pain when the man on the corner has holes in his soles.
So, it is better to be a taker? Is ignorance truly bliss? If you don't see that beggar at all does his plight weigh heavy on your mind?
I struggle with this daily as we decide how we are going to raise our children. Do we set the price of their personal integrity so high that they will wish they had been raised to be takers? Will my children resent that they don't have some of the same things that their friends have simply because we believe in giving and saving?
And, can givers even raise takers? When I look at the people I know they are definitely products of their upbringing and often turn out exactly as their parents are. So, do I sentence my children to a life of being caring and contributing, but also being confused as to why their friends are carefree with their ignorance and government checks?
How do you raise children that are both conscionable and happy, as it sometimes seems that these traits are mutually exclusive?
Moliere, one of my favorite writers of all time said, "Every good act is charity. A man's true wealth hereafter is the good that he does in this world to his fellows."
I hope he was right.
2 comments:
You keep on giving because that is what you are, a giving, loving, person. I know that the cost is high but the price of selling your integrity is higher. Stay the course because the guilt of throwing it all away is what will keep you up at night. Remember that there are those that you truly do help and for those that are really needy, your help is priceless. This is the reason that Dad and I spend so much money and time working with organized charities, takers do fall through the cracks but we have a buffer zone to try and weed some of those out. Go to your charity and look at the people that you help. You will be able to see in their eyes which are the givers down on their luck and the true takers.
Bottom line. Life sucks sometimes. Know it and do everything that you can to work around it.
My wisdom for the Day, MOM
Sometimes the very act of giving is the karmonal recompense. (yeah, I'm not sure "karmonal" is a real word, but it fits).
For those that are givers "down on their luck" things will get better for them. And not just because of karma (which, even being LDS, I think holds as a truth for what it IS regardless the name you put on it). Things tend to improve for those that are givers because of how they perceive life and situations around them. They can see there are others who are truly worse off than them and look outward to where and how they can help, rather than inward as the takers do, wondering why people are not giving them more.
Not long ago there was a documentary on TV about a woman who decided that the current cycle of "charity" being given to underprivileged youth in the projects of Harlem was just not making a difference in the lives of those receiving the service. She decided to take a group of those "underprivileged" youth to a truly poor area in Africa to GIVE service. For a few weeks, those Harlem youth had the opportunity to be on the giving end. The result? It truly changed WHO they were. Each of those children saw improvements in their grades at school as well as their attitudes in life. Some may say it was because they saw what true poverty looked like in Africa, but I think it was the taste of service and getting outside of their own self pity.
I think this change can take place in ANY person willing to go outside of their own selfishness and give without expectations of karma or any other force (cosmic or otherwise) compensating them for it.
Christina, your mom is right: you truly are blessed, and not just because of your financial circumstance in life, but because you have personally experienced the power of giving - and you have made it a part of WHO you are.
I sometimes pity those that are exclusively takers in life; who may never know that feeling of self worth that comes from giving (be it monetarily or of time or of some other form of service). But that pity only comes in brief spurts between the more common sensations of frustrations and irritation... or as you so nicely put it - bitterness. :)
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