The Price is right

Wowza. You know how I said in my last post that being a grown-up was expensive? I should have had at least forty comments to that saying, "Honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet."

The past four weeks have been a veritable keg party at our new house. DishNetwork, Cox internet, painters, movers, ADT, Pest Control, Garage Door Servicemen, appliance deliverymen, Air Conditioning repairmen, and more appliance deliverymen have been parading through our door since we signed the papers. It's amazing what move-in ready really means when you're *slightly* high-maintenance like we are. I can only imagine what would have been needed had we purchased a fixer-upper.

To keep the baby from growing another arm due to paint toxicity, Sprocket and I spent last week with my parents in Pinetop while Corey supervised the entire house being painted (did I mention we decided to paint the entire house?) from down here. It looks great, and once we find a camera in one of these boxes I'll be sure to post some pictures.

But the really expensive part isn't even the house. Sure, one of our very new air conditioning units decided not to work one day, the doorbell almost started a fire in our hallway, and painting a two story house with a great room that seems fifty feet tall is amazingly pricey, but the Peanut - well she's a whole different spending story.

I picked up a copy of a book called "Baby Bargains". Sounds frugal, right? Many a mother told me I HAD to have this book, and I'm very glad we purchased it because the world of baby purchases might as well have been Mars to us. However, safe baby stuff is not cheap.

Sure, there are cribs and car seats and strollers that pass safety inspections and sell for reasonable prices. But, you want the car seat with side impact? Oh, that sucker's gonna cost you. Cute cribs at Walmart? Of course. And baby probably won't die in it. But, do you want to make sure it wasn't made in China from particleboard that contains lead and asbestos? You're lookin' at $500++.

As we made our way down the list and picked out each specific brand and model for each necessity, the tab really started to add up. And when I say add up I mean that I started to hyperventilate.

Yes, we have a baby fund for this stuff. And yes, it's good that we overestimated said baby fund because we're going to use it. But, I'm cheap now. I almost threw up spending $50 on maternity clothes yesterday (oh yeah, I'm finally in maternity clothes. Yay, me. (Dripping with sarcasm, in case you're confused.))

I've resorted to buying Babies R Us coupons on ebay because they will save us hundreds of dollars, but beyond that there isn't much I can do to save on this stuff. You can't buy used, they rarely put the good stuff on sale, and scrimping on safety is not an issue for us. So, the debit card is on fire.

Lest I make life seem tragic, we are feeling very blessed. Peanut is routinely doing the cha-cha on my insides and although it is painful when she gets a foot all up in my adhesions, her Daddy sure loves to feel her kick and watch my enormous belly gyrate with her movements. She also loves to hear his voice, so he reads to her every night when we settle into bed. She calms down to hear him speak, but if he dares take a breath or turn a page she gets impatient for him to resume and knocks me around a bit.

Unfortunately, the bladder instills haven't been helping so we're going to discontinue them for now. My doc says I'm carrying her low and she likes to use my bladder as a pillow (albeit a diseased and shriveled pillow) so that's probably not going to be helped by some heparin pumped in from a catheter. Fifteen more weeks - I'll survive.

I alternate between telling her to hurry up already, and holding onto my sanity by a kite string as I realize that three-ish months from now I will be solely responsible for another human being who will need me to do EVERYTHING for her. Sure, Sprocket needs more attention than a fat mom on "Toddlers and Tiaras" but at least he sleeps for six hours a night. I pray daily that we get one of those angel children who gets wrapped up in her Miracle Blanket and sleeps until 8am. Maybe she'll learn just how crabby her Daddy is when he doesn't get enough sleep and she'll cut us a break now and then.

Or maybe her millions of dollars in Miracle Blankets and soothing nursery white noise machines will knock her out for days at a time.

One can only pray to the Visa and Mastercard gods.

Cha-Ching

This grown up stuff is expensive!!

Now that the house is officially ours, we have had the garage door serviced, bought a new refrigerator and gas stove, had the house re-locked, scheduled the painters to do the nursery (and we're getting the master bedroom and bath re-done too, just because) and scheduled ADT to come and install new security services. We still have to get landscapers to come out and fix the watering system, install new ceiling fans in some of the rooms, have the backsplash in the kitchen tiled with mosaic tile, replace the doorbell, and possibly replace the exhaust hood in the kitchen when I figure out whether or not the current one will compete with my gas stove cooking.

Then we have to buy the copious amount of baby related gear that I referred to in my earlier post.

Yikes.

Tomorrow I go to the doc and start bladder instills for the pain my I.C. is causing. I've had the bladder instills before, although obviously not while pregnant, and they aren't a huge deal, so I am hoping it will help me get more than an hour of sleep at a time without having to run to the bathroom because peanut is pressing on my poor, sick bladder. It's a bit unnerving having any kind of procedure while my baby is still making her home in there, but if her mommy doesn't start getting some sleep and relief from the pain she's going to have much less time to shop for pretty things, so it's in her best interest.

We are just shy of halfway there and it's slowly dawning on me that at the end of this year we will have a beautiful baby girl to bring home (God willing). I can't believe that a hospital is going to allow us to just take her - don't they know I haven't changed a diaper in years? How will I know which cry means, "I'm hungry" and which means, "I'm sick"? So many of my friends have multiple kids and I gaze at them in awe - how did you learn it all?

Of course we will be taking birthing, CPR, infant safety, breastfeeding, lamaze, and whatever other class they invent in the meantime, but I have a sneaking suspicion that practicing these things on Molly-Wet-n-Cry is just not going to be the same.

Apparently there just isn't such a place in life as 'ready for a baby' because six months ago I was sobbing that we were ready and wanted one so badly and now I wake up in the middle of the night afraid that we aren't going to pick the right bottles or that she's going to get her little fingers trapped in the crib slats.

I guess we'll just do the best we can, and hope that Sprocket picks up the slack.

the cardinal rule of pregnancy

When you suffer from infertility and have success, there is one rule that is punishable by death (or at least episiotomies and long labor): thou shalt not complain about pregnancy. Well, guess what? Screw the rule.

This pregnancy is HARD. We knew this going in. They told me it would be painful for me with all of my 'issues'. But I have been in pain for the past two years plus, so I thought it couldn't be much different. I was very, very wrong.

Yes, it is physically more painful. There is now a cantaloupe in my pelvis and it is pushing on my broken, diseased bladder and my intestinal adhesions. It is the sweetest, most loved cantaloupe in the world, but it is still brutal. But, the hardest part and the thing I didn't expect is the emotional turmoil involved when the pain knocks me to the ground and makes me cry out that I'm ready for the epidural NOW. I'm scared that something is wrong with the baby.

I'm doing my best to not be the crazy pregnant lady, and so far we've only called the on-call once, but every time I feel like peanut is taking a machete to my guts I'm terrified that she's in danger.

Each time we check on her she's doing fine - last time she was doing flips and ninja kicks in there - but it doesn't stop me from fretting. Because I'm crazy. Sigh. The peanut has a crazy momma.

But, since we verified she is, in fact, a SHE (and I win all the money in the world according to the bet I made with everyone), I'm guessing that she will have a certain amount of crazy in her too (just look at my mom - it's genetic (Hi Mom!)). Might as well get her used to it now.

What the peanut may be lacking in sanity though, she will not be lacking in equipment. We have purchased her a nursery (attached to a lovely four bedroom house) and it is scheduled to be painted this week. Then I can begin filling it up with truckloads of the most adorable baby girl stuff one can find. Sure, there will be a crib and a dresser and a rocking chair, but I'm talking about the good stuff. Bookshelves full of Little Golden Books. Tummy time mats with floating fish in them. Bumbos, and Exersaucers, and Gloworms, oh my. And how many pink dresses can you fit in a standard DR Horton sliding closet? My friends, we are about to find out.

Despite the fact that I had a momentary heart attack (figure of speech, as far as we know the hole in my heart is holding up just fine) when finding out we're having a daughter, I then remembered how very glad I am that we took some extra time before the babymakin' to put together a kickass peanut fund. I stress about money every day because, well, say it with me - I'm CRAZY - but I realize that there is no reason to stress when I'm logical about it. We've budgeted and re-budgeted and then done it again and somehow we have become ninja savers because what other people can't manage to do on two incomes we are comfortably doing on the boy's. Even if our little princess needs imported, lactose-free formula, and diapers made from pashmina, we have enough in the monthly budget for that. And I am OH SO thankful to my husband for being such an amazing provider and working so hard for us.

This is why he is sleeping in right now and the peanut, the beagador, and I are lounging on the couch and waiting for him to emerge. The Three (crazy) Musketeers.

Now that I think about it, he's slept in long enough!