Single Barrel Whiskey and a Straw...

Last year the boy and I toured the Jack Daniel's distillery when we were in Tennessee. Even though I can't drink anymore because of my bladder disease I can still almost taste the air in the room above - the single barrel room. It's heavenly, really. Even if you're not a huge fan of whiskey you can appreciate the amount of work that went into this one little barrel of liquid pleasure. And right now I wish I could drink a whole bottle.

If you'll remember back to not so long ago, Corey was having a little bit of belly trouble. Well, today (a week after taking the tests) we finally know what's wrong. The overachiever that he is, he managed to grow a ginormous gallstone in his teeny tiny little gall bladder and it's wrecking the program. Hello surgery.

And yesterday, because I also cannot ever make things simple, I found a new doctor. A doctor that felt around and announced, "You have a lump. I've never found one there before." I also enjoy exceeding expectations, but stumping a surgeon is beyond even my wildest dreams. Hello surgery.

So, very soon the boy and I will be having matching laparoscopic surgeries to remove various items from our bodies. I will be asking for my appendix and gall bladder to be ripped out as well - just to avoid it in the future.

We will also be entering a karmic retribution 12-step program to try and get the universe back on our side. Step 1: If we have ever hurt your feelings, cut you off in traffic, laughed at your hideous outfit (that's just me, not Corey), or had a hotel room above you in Vegas we are unequivocally sorry. It will never happen again as we are becoming Buddhist, homeopathic, carbon footprint reducing Kabbalah lovers and we implore you to forgive us in whatever language and religion you feel obligated to.

Mahalo.